THE THINGS CHILDREN SAY- UPDATED WEEKLY. ENJOY 2018

-“I can’t say that word. Don’t you know I have an under and over bite. I wear my headgear at night.”

-“Look, I have a hole in my sock and my big toe is peeking out.”–child 1
“Well, I have a hole in pants and I can see my vulva.” Child-2

-There are predictable conversations like “when I grow up, I want to be…”
– a police man
– a construction worker
– A HOTEL MANAGER?????

-The class was learning about the At word family.  We were reading words such as cat, bat, sat, mat, fat, that, and hat.  One of the young girls was proud that she made her own word, she was eager to read it to me. “I chose to write the word shat, that is French for cat.”

-Last week I took a group of older children ice skating and they wanted to hear tunes while skating. One girl requested Journey so I went to the trusty Pandora App on my phone. I think we were listening to an Elton John song when a boy, age 10 skated over and asked, “isn’t this Tom Petty, the dead guy from Labrynth?”  I attempted to explain the confusion…Elton John, Tom Petty and David Bowie in one sentence but he skated away (“on the thin of ice of a new day) -why not add Jethro Tull at this point.

Things heard in a modern day elementary classroom-

-“I love cupcakes!” says a young girl.  “How can you like cupcakes? I thought you were Gluten Intolerant.” asks John.

–  A concerned 11 year old. “Todd, can you please listen to what they are talking about at that table. I think they are saying that I am a Trans-Jester person.”

—        CHILD ONE-  “Did you know that Jesus is a real person, he was the son of             God?’

         CHILD TWO– ” Yes, I know he is real but not really real.  I mean he does not             live down here with us”

        CHILD ONE- ” Well, he can live here but we just won’t see him.”

      CHILD TWO– “And…did you know that Jesus has an older brother?  His older        brother is Zeus.” said with conviction.

–   During my free period I was listening to the Ottis Redding Pandora station. Joe walked in (7 years old) as Sir Duke by Stevie Wonder was playing. “Oh yeah, this is my jam!” was his response. AGE 7 -2017

–   “Papa, I just poked myself in the eye.  Is it still there?”  Age 4-2017, my son Sparks

-“Look Todd, I drew half a margaritta.”  Age 7   – 2017

-Our director was away for a days and a 6 year old was wondering. “when the director is gone who is the Head Mistress?” Age 6- 2017

-If the plural of octopus is octopi

And the plural of goose is geese

Is the plural of deer

die?     Age 7

– Me, jokingly- “anyone who drops too much play dough on the floor has to eat it with hot sauce.”

The response- “um, Todd ins’t that kind of racist?”   Age 8 and 42

-“ I actually feel like myself today” Age 8

“My dad’s job is to fart and fix things around the house.” Age 4

-While having difficulty reading a book, ” I can’t read, don’t you know I have sexleptia.” Age 6

A Poem by a Boy- age 7

Be creative in life.

Everyday is sunny.

Night is dark.

“My aunt is sort of fat.  Oh wait that is not nice to say.  My Aunt has a real big belly.” Age 8

-I asked a boy, “So have you decided on a Halloween costume for this year?”                   His reply. “Well, I think I am going to be that guy that wears a black cape and has that large pitch fork thing, but I can’t remember his name.  Oh, I remember.  I am going to be the Grimm Reefer.”  Age 6

“Todd, John has a tic-tac up his nose and he can’t get it out!”  I looked up there but couldn’t see anything but he said that it felt like it was up there.  His mom took him to the hospital to let the doctor look up his nose.  Sure enough there was a tic-tac up there.  The doctor easily removed the stuck candy from the boys nose.  John, looked at the tic-tac and said, “well the orange never got stuck up there before.”